This blog contains my version of a Frank O' Hara poem.
Being a Cashier
I feel the heat of the beaming sun and the humid aircould'nt wait for the store door to open
I walked inside and feel the chills of the cold air of the air condition
feels so goddamn great
people starting to invade and grab stuffs that they could hardly carry
like if they're at a competition
yes its Down Town Brooklyn
they have no manners or respect and full of anger
how ever I have no fear
Their eyes full of greed as they snap and bark
wants everything for nothing
I stand there with all my courage and pray for my hours to go fast
yes thats what its like
Hi Ashley, I really think you get the essence of Frank O’Hara’s “A Step Away From Home,” poem in yours. “The sun is hot, but cabs stir up the air. I look at bargains in wristwatches. There are cats playing in sawdust” (Frank O’Hara). “I feel the heat of the beaming sun and the humid hair couldn’t wait for the store door to open I walked inside and feel the chill of the cold air of the air condition feels so goddamn great” ( Ashley Paramanand). You both talk about the humidity of the sun and how it feels in your skins. Each of your lines tells their own stories and you both have this calmness about your writings. I think you portray Frank O’Hara well. Apart from editing your poem, I think you nailed it. I enjoy reading it. Good job
ReplyDeleteHi Annalice,thanks a lot for your time and your comments, I really appreciate it.
DeleteThanks again.